In the life group leader meeting in October 2023, Aeric interviewed a panel of hosts — Lynae Calquhoun, Leslie Estep, and Emily Leonard. Here are the questions and answers.
How do you plan for food each week? How do you communicate the plan?
We use text for ours. I send out a text a couple of days before. I also rotate about 4 meals and list out suggestions or ask for favorites. I usually take care of the main component so when families get sick and drop out, we still have a meal.
We use GroupMe to share meal plans. We try to get it out before the weekend so people have time to go to the store. We usually eat a lot of taco salad, rice bowls, and breakfast bowls.
Multiple ways. We used to do a Facebook group and would choose a meal and share it. Then people would comment what they were going to bring. Now, we use "Perfect Potluck" and have a 4ish week rotation. I purposefully don't always claim the main thing.
What advice would you give to others about managing food? What are some ways you would recommend to make it easier (simpler)?
You can use paper products. We have nonbreakable $.50 plates we use.
Simple meals so everybody can contribute. That way kids like it, too, and allergies can be avoided.
Have people sign up for ingredients - and have two people sign up for a main ingredient so in case one misses, the other person can still bring some. Sharing ingredients also means it can be cost-effective for each person if needed. We have .80 plates and silverware in a crate for life group. Our job is to have the dishwasher empty, and our life group's job is to fill it after we're done.
How do you include others in the work of hosting?
Your life group will get used to the habits you set. Kids can be involved and help clean or serve food. Kids sit at the table while we discuss so everyone knows the rhythm and pitches in to help get everything set up or cleaned up.
Since we meet at church, we have set up and take down together. Ask people to be involved and help.
For dishes - tell them from the beginning so it's just the understanding.
What has been your favorite meal experience?
A single man brought cream to add to the dessert and whipped it by hand while at life group. It was his labor of love for us.
Watching the kids be excited to eat what they want.
We've had a lot of allergies in our group over the years, and I've gotten to see lots of people love each other that way. People show thought and love by looking out for each other that way.
Have you ever thought about not doing food for a Life Group? What did you experience when you still did it?
Yes. I feel that way when I know there will be a big mess, especially with kids, but I also see the most joy from them.
Yes. It's hard for me to think in advance and plan it, but we love eating together because it's easier for families. It simplifies the process of life group since we can all fumble in together with the pieces of the meal instead of trying to run out the door and stuff food down before leaving.
Yes. Someone picked up pizza and met us where we were at. They took care of us.
What have you noticed about your group when it eats together?
With hosting, people enter our home and they get to know us in a deeper way than we may know them, but food is a way to bond and celebrate together. They may bring a favorite food or a gran's recipe. It's a glimpse into them, too.
We talk more. We always love catching up and sitting by different people every week. We talk so much we have to pay attention when we need to transition to the next thing.
We talk a lot and open up sooner than we would without food. We don't need to break the ice; we can just jump in. Also, you don't have to make eye contact while you eat and talk with people so it's easier to get deeper.
It's helpful to share the necessities of life together - helps me get to know them better since we aren't only engaging on an intellectual level.
How have you enfolded people with disabilities or allergies into the practice of Food?
I want to accommodate the allergies as best as I can. I try to plan meals that include that person. Rice bowls and salad bars are a great options so allergy toppings could be on the side and can be avoided. Our goal is that life group can be a place where they can show up, relax and eat, and not have to bring their own food.
Snap a picture of the ingredients to share with the person with the allergy to make sure it's okay. Kids get excited to be included when they have an allergy, too. Help people understand why some allergen foods may have been set aside or why utensils shouldn't be shared.
At one point, we had 9 different allergies and a vegetarian. I echo what the others said. Just ask. People want to know they're loved and taken into account, but they don't want to be a burden. Have allergy people go first or move the allergens aside separately so things don't get cross-contaminated. It doesn't have to be stressful, it just might be that you're not used to it. It will become normal and easy.
Use simplicity to love people.
What do you do when everyone won’t fit around the table?
Waterproof mats on the rug for kids if needed. But more or less the same as what the others said. Even if it's just adults, mix up where people sit so it's with different people. And make sure no one sits alone.
Kids at table and counter. Adults squish onto the couch. Now at church, we make one big table or a couple of tables.
Kids eat at the table. Adults eat on the couch. Or we eat outside.
A couple of adults might sit with the kids to supervise - make sure they aren't the same people each week. Do the same discussion with the kids, too. The kids do the same practice as the adults.
How long does a meal normally take?
We start at 6 and begin eating by 6:15. We wrap up dinner and start discussion by 7.
We start at 5:30 so we can get done a little early. Start eating by 5:40; it's okay if people are running late, they just join in when they get there. We finish eating in probably 45 minutes.
We start at 6, but work or sports sometimes conflict. We usually start eating around 6:15 or 6:30. Discussion usually by 7 or 7:10.
How do you ensure you get proper sign-ups or feedback before the life group?
It's okay to ask people to cover a specific food or sometimes I will. If there's not enough food or someone doesn't bring something, we let the group deal with it instead of always covering it.
Sending it out at the right time. Tag team it together. My husband sends the main text out on Friday; I will follow up a few days later if no one has responded. Plenty of people sign up even day of but really if we don't have all the food, that's okay.
Send out the food on time. Learn to send it out, but not too early - maybe Thursday or Friday. Our life group is on Tuesday. A week is too long in advance. Some people are planners and some aren't. Be flexible with it.
Let the system break and it probably won't break again. When someone joins and decides to commit to the group, explain the rhythm and expectations.